Understanding Therapy for Children
Deciding to take your child to a therapist can feel overwhelming, but it's an important step toward supporting your child's mental health and emotional well-being. Therapy provides children with a safe space to express their feelings, learn coping skills, and work through challenges with the guidance of a trained professional.
This guide will help you understand when therapy might be beneficial, how to find the right therapist, how to prepare your child, and what to expect from the therapy process.
When to Consider Therapy for Your Child
There are many reasons why a child might benefit from therapy. Consider seeking professional help if your child:
Emotional Concerns
- • Persistent sadness or depression
- • Excessive worry or anxiety
- • Frequent mood swings or irritability
- • Low self-esteem or negative self-talk
- • Difficulty managing emotions
Behavioral Issues
- • Aggressive or destructive behavior
- • Significant changes in behavior
- • Difficulty following rules or boundaries
- • Self-harm or risky behaviors
- • Substance use
Social Challenges
- • Difficulty making or keeping friends
- • Social withdrawal or isolation
- • Bullying or being bullied
- • Extreme shyness or social anxiety
Life Changes & Trauma
- • Experienced trauma or abuse
- • Grief or loss of a loved one
- • Divorce or family changes
- • Moving or changing schools
- • Medical illness or hospitalization
Other Signs to Watch For
- • Academic decline — Significant drop in grades or school performance
- • Sleep or eating changes — Persistent problems with sleep or appetite
- • Physical symptoms — Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other physical complaints without medical cause
- • Regression — Returning to behaviors from earlier developmental stages
- • Expressions of hopelessness — Talking about death, suicide, or not wanting to live
If your child expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, seek immediate help. Call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), 911, or go to the nearest emergency room.
Types of Therapy for Children
There are different types of therapy approaches that may be used with children, depending on their age, needs, and the issues they're facing:
Play Therapy
Used primarily with younger children (ages 3-12), play therapy allows children to express themselves and work through problems through play, art, and creative activities. Children may not have the verbal skills to express complex emotions, so play becomes their language.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps children identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors. It's effective for anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues. CBT is often adapted for children using age-appropriate activities and language.
Family Therapy
Family therapy involves the whole family and focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening family relationships. It's particularly helpful when family dynamics are contributing to a child's difficulties.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
DBT helps children learn skills to manage intense emotions, improve relationships, and reduce self-destructive behaviors. It's often used with teens who struggle with emotional regulation.
Trauma-Focused Therapy
Specialized therapy approaches designed to help children process and heal from traumatic experiences. These may include Trauma-Focused CBT, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), or other trauma-informed approaches.
How to Find the Right Therapist
Finding the right therapist for your child is crucial. Here are steps to help you in your search:
1. Ask for Referrals
- • Ask your child's pediatrician for recommendations
- • Contact your child's school counselor or psychologist
- • Reach out to your insurance company for in-network providers
- • Ask friends, family, or other parents for recommendations
- • Contact local mental health organizations or clinics
2. Consider Qualifications and Specializations
- • Look for licensed mental health professionals (LCSW, LPC, LMFT, or licensed psychologists)
- • Find therapists who specialize in working with children and adolescents
- • Consider therapists with experience in your child's specific concerns (anxiety, trauma, ADHD, etc.)
- • Verify credentials and check for any disciplinary actions
3. Consider Practical Factors
- • Location and accessibility
- • Availability and scheduling flexibility
- • Insurance coverage and cost
- • In-person vs. teletherapy options
- • Cultural sensitivity and language preferences
4. Schedule a Consultation
Many therapists offer initial consultations. Use this time to:
- • Discuss your child's concerns and needs
- • Ask about their approach and experience
- • Assess if they're a good fit for your child
- • Ask about their policies on parent involvement
- • Discuss confidentiality and what information will be shared with you
How to Prepare Your Child for Therapy
How you talk to your child about therapy can make a big difference in how they feel about it:
Use Age-Appropriate Language
For Young Children:
"We're going to meet with someone who helps kids with their feelings. They have fun games and toys, and you can talk or play with them about things that might be bothering you."
For Older Children/Teens:
"I've noticed you've been struggling with [specific concern]. I found someone who specializes in helping kids/teens work through these kinds of challenges. They're trained to help people learn skills to feel better and handle difficult situations."
Normalize Therapy
- • Explain that many children see therapists, just like they see doctors or dentists
- • Emphasize that therapy is a tool to help them feel better, not a punishment
- • Avoid framing it as something being "wrong" with them
- • Share that therapy is a safe space to talk about anything
Address Concerns
- • Listen to your child's worries or questions
- • Reassure them that therapy is confidential (within safety limits)
- • Explain that they won't be forced to talk about anything they don't want to
- • Let them know you'll be there to support them
Set Expectations
- • Explain that therapy is a process that takes time
- • Let them know the first session is often about getting to know each other
- • Discuss that they may meet with the therapist alone, or you may be included
- • Reassure them that it's okay to feel nervous at first
What to Expect from Therapy
Initial Sessions
The first few sessions typically involve:
- • Assessment of your child's needs and concerns
- • Building rapport between your child and therapist
- • Gathering information about your child's history and current situation
- • Setting goals for therapy
- • Discussing confidentiality and what information will be shared with parents
Ongoing Therapy
During therapy sessions, your child may:
- • Talk about their feelings, thoughts, and experiences
- • Learn coping skills and strategies
- • Practice new behaviors and ways of thinking
- • Work through difficult emotions or situations
- • Engage in play, art, or other activities (for younger children)
Parent Involvement
The level of parent involvement varies depending on the child's age, the type of therapy, and the therapist's approach:
- • For younger children, parents may be more involved in sessions
- • For older children and teens, sessions are often private, with periodic check-ins with parents
- • Family therapy sessions include the whole family
- • Therapists typically share general progress updates while maintaining the child's confidentiality
Progress and Duration
Therapy is a process, and progress takes time:
- • Some children see improvement in a few weeks, others may need months
- • Progress isn't always linear — there may be ups and downs
- • The duration of therapy depends on the child's needs and goals
- • Regular communication with the therapist helps track progress
How to Support Your Child During Therapy
Respect Privacy and Confidentiality
- • Understand that your child's sessions are private
- • Don't pressure your child to share what they discussed
- • Respect the therapist's boundaries around confidentiality
- • Trust that the therapist will share important information when necessary
Be Patient and Supportive
- • Understand that therapy takes time and progress may be gradual
- • Avoid expecting immediate results
- • Support your child's participation in therapy
- • Be patient with setbacks or difficult periods
Maintain Consistency
- • Ensure your child attends sessions regularly
- • Follow through with recommendations from the therapist
- • Support homework or practice activities between sessions
- • Maintain routines and structure at home
Communicate with the Therapist
- • Share relevant information about your child's progress or concerns
- • Ask questions about how you can support your child at home
- • Discuss any concerns about the therapy process
- • Work collaboratively with the therapist
Create a Supportive Home Environment
- • Continue to provide love, support, and understanding
- • Implement strategies learned in therapy at home
- • Be open to making changes in family dynamics if needed
- • Take care of your own mental health
What If Your Child Resists Therapy?
It's common for children to be hesitant or resistant to therapy. Here's how to handle it:
- • Validate their feelings — Acknowledge that it's normal to feel nervous or unsure
- • Address their concerns — Listen to what's worrying them and provide reassurance
- • Start with a consultation — Let them meet the therapist first without committing to ongoing therapy
- • Give it time — It may take a few sessions for your child to feel comfortable
- • Consider a different therapist — The fit between therapist and child is important
- • Be firm but understanding — For serious concerns, therapy may be necessary even if your child resists
- • Work with the therapist — They can help address resistance and make therapy more engaging
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: How do I know if my child really needs therapy?
A: If your child's emotional or behavioral concerns are persistent, interfering with daily life, or causing significant distress, therapy may be beneficial. Trust your instincts — if you're concerned, it's worth consulting with a professional. A therapist can help assess whether therapy is needed and what type of support would be most helpful.
Q: Will the therapist tell me everything my child says?
A: Therapists maintain confidentiality to create a safe space for your child. However, they will share information if there are safety concerns (self-harm, abuse, etc.) or with your child's permission. Most therapists provide general updates about progress and may share strategies you can use at home, while keeping specific details of conversations private.
Q: How long will my child need therapy?
A: The duration varies widely depending on your child's needs, the issues being addressed, and how quickly they respond to treatment. Some children benefit from short-term therapy (a few months), while others may need longer-term support. The therapist should discuss treatment goals and expected duration with you.
Q: What if my child doesn't like the therapist?
A: The therapeutic relationship is crucial for success. If your child doesn't connect with the therapist after several sessions, it's okay to look for someone else. However, give it a few sessions first, as it takes time to build rapport. Discuss your concerns with the therapist, and if needed, seek a different provider.
Q: Can I sit in on my child's therapy sessions?
A: This depends on your child's age, the type of therapy, and the therapist's approach. For very young children, parents are often included. For older children and teens, sessions are typically private to encourage open communication. Some therapists may include parents for part of sessions or have periodic family sessions. Discuss this with the therapist.
Q: How much does therapy cost, and will insurance cover it?
A: Costs vary depending on location, therapist credentials, and whether they accept insurance. Many insurance plans cover mental health services, but coverage varies. Check with your insurance company about coverage, copays, and in-network providers. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income, and there may be community mental health centers with lower-cost options.
Key Takeaways
Seek Help When Needed
Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're concerned about your child
Find the Right Fit
Take time to find a therapist who is a good match for your child
Be Supportive
Support your child through the therapy process with patience and understanding
⚠️ Important Note
This article provides general information and is not intended to replace professional mental health advice. If you have concerns about your child's mental health or are considering therapy, consult with your child's pediatrician or a qualified mental health professional. If your child is in immediate danger or experiencing a mental health crisis, contact emergency services (911) or a crisis helpline (988) immediately.